So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
