i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
