Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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