well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
