He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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