Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
