i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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