And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
