so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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