Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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