Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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