i was rollin on her like bob the builder
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Randomize