the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
