whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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