i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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