no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
