It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
