How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
