i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
