No, drunk sperm still make babies.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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