You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
