When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize