I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
