yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
