I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
There was a lot of him and a little penis
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
