so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Buhtt sex?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
