and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
