Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
