Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
