Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
