it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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