I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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