i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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