i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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