This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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