is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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