dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
