i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
