Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
