I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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