BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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