shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Semen is not good for contacts.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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