Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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