Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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