This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
