Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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