Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
