so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
My bed smells like the plague
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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