No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
