Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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