billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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