Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
