a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
