Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Two words: blizzard sex
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize