If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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