My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
