His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize