good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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