Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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