Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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