I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
