Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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