There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
