So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You were trust falling into bushes
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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