Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
