K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
